Lucy Weasley's List Of What She Will And Will Not Do
by Facetaker
Summary: Funny one-shot, Lucy Weasley- troublemaker of the family is stuck in detention. Proffesor Longbottom forces her to write a list of things she will and will not do. This is what she wrote.


**Lucy Weasley****'****s list of what she will and will not do **

(Forcedly written under surveillance of Professor Longbottom in detention)

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**1- **I will not not write this list, then Professor Longbottom will have the seizure of the century.

**2 **- I will not throw paper balls at Binns in History of Magic, and I especially will not call out 'Bulls Eye!' when I get it through his head, even if that earns 10 points.

**3 - **I will not, nor tell anyone about, the 'Throw paper balls at Binns' game that I invented. And I should also regret inventing it in the first place, even if it is highly amusing and keeps students from falling asleep.

**4 **- I will not ask Binns if he is able to perform sexually, being transparent and all, or if he can only be intimate with other ghosts.

**5** - I will not remind Binns that he is a ghost, which I made him realize in my first year.

**6** - I will stop bugging Binns.

**7** - I will not use my 'imaginary' influence as the Ministers daughter to get the first years to do stuff for me.

**8** - I will not undermine the head girls authority by refusing detention, even if she happens to be my sister.

**9** - I will not ask McGonagall about the last time she got laid. And I will stop using the phrase 'get laid'

**10 - **I will not disturb the second years DADA class by walking in wearing my pyjamas and giving Mr. Lupin a kiss, and then explaining it saying I was sleepwalking.

**11 - **I will stop giving Mr. Lupin notes on my homework that says 'I love your hair'. He is a teacher and I should not flirt with him. No matter how hot he is, or how blue his hair is.

**12 - **I will not, when receiving a howler from my dearest father, throw it at a bypassing student and then make a run for it. I will instead stay put and take my punishment as an adult.

**13 - **I will not drink firewhisky to breakfast, because apparently I am to act adult, but I am not allowed to eat and drink as an adult.

**14 - **I will not when having drunk the firewhisky, declare my love to Mr. Lupin in front of the whole great hall.

**15 - **I will not blame Rose and Roxanne for my crime's when we get busted. Even though they join me by their own will. Except for Rose.

**16 -** I will not drag Rose with me to the bad side, she is a nice and innocent girl who is a great prefect and I should let her stay so.

**17 - **I will not interrupt Roxanne's quidditch practice by running onto the pitch and yelling that she forgot to put on a bra.

**18 - **I will never accuse Roxanne of forgetting to put on a bra again, apparently she has very strict rules concerning that matter.

**19 - **I should not ask Wood if he wants to keep the same item of Roxanne's clothing that I've earlier mentioned.

**20 - **I should not refer to myself (Lucy Weasley) Rose Weasley and Roxanne Weasley as the Weasley Trio. I don't actually know why.

**21 - **I will not ask Binns if I should get him a date with Moaning Myrtle, apparently she is not ready to start dating yet.

**22 - **I will not convince Nr 1 of the gargoyles outside the headmistress office that Nr 2 is cheating on it with the one outside the Ravenclaw tower who tells the stupid riddles.

**23 - **After having turned the gargoyles against each other will I not have a cup of tea in the headmistress office and chat with Professor Dumbledore's portrait.

**24 - **I will not tell Dumbledore about my theory that he had a crush on Snape.

**25 - **I will not pretend to die in DADA just so that Mr. Lupin will have to carry me to the infirmary.

**26 - **I will not use earlier mentioned influence as the ministers daughter to get the first years to create a giant poking device.

**27 - **I will not use the poking device to poke the giant squid.

**28 - **I will not throw a 'Teddy Lupin for minister of magic' campaign.

**29 - **I will stop obsessing over Mr. Lupin and his gorgeous blue hair. He is Uncle Harry's godson, we're practically related.

**30 - **I will not get Rose and Roxanne drunk, and then blame it on the house elf's saying that they put firewhisky in the pumpkin juice.

**31 - **I will join SPEW.

**32 - **I will get back Roxanne's bra from Wood, he's in our year so I might be able to bribe Albus into getting it for me.

**33 - **I will not force Albus to touch his cousins bra. Instead I will break into the sixth year Gryffindor boy's dormitory and steal it back. I will bring Rose and Roxanne as backup.

**34 - **I will not drool over Wood's shirtless appearance, even if being a keeper makes him pretty toned.

**35 - **I will not inform Albus, Lorcan and Scorpius about their roomates toned body.

**36 -** I will (since Professor Longbottom just surveyed my list) stop listing stupid non important things.

**37 - **I will not refer to Snape as 'Dumbledore's bitch', he is a great man who did great stuff during the war.

**38 - **I should probably learn what kind of great stuff Snape supposedly did during the war.

**39 - **I should visit the library for the first time in my life.

**40 - **I should not begin to complain about the lack of information of the possible romance between Dumbledore and Snape within the history books. Apparently it didn't exist and I'm imagining stuff.

**41 - **I will not come home at Christmas break with a pillow under my shirt and tell my parents that I'm pregnant. I will especially not tell them that the father is Mr. Lupin.

**42 - **I will not pretend to grow serious and then tell them that it's actually Lorcan Scamander's, or maybe Lysander's, that I'm not entirely sure since they're twins.

**43 - **I will never make a joke about my sex life again, because then it will get in the papers all over Britain that the Minister's sixteen year old daughter is pregnant.

**44 - **I will start taking responsibility over my actions and be more like my perfect head girl Ravenclaw sister Molly.

**45 - **I will not call my sister a pompous oversized nargle.

**46 - **I will ask Lysander what a nargle is.

**47 - **I will kill Roxanne for telling people that I like Lorcan, even though she did it as a revenge for the bra thing.

**48 - **I will not make any more remarks about Professor Longbottoms receding hairline. He is a family friend and I should treat him with respect. He also killed some important snake.

**49 - **I will forever deny having any kind of romantic feelings for Lorcan Scamander. I am forever loyal to Mr. Lupin!

**50 **- I will probably not follow any of these rules, because now detentions over. Yay!

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**AN: This one-shot (my first) actually got deleted from the site, I don't remember why so I'm uploading it again with M for language, because you guys seemed to like it last time. Sneaky Lucy is a favourite of mine, and I've always liked this list. **

**If you like this, read my new story Beyond Salvation (Teddy/Victoire) or my finished loooong story The Serpens Order (James Sirius/OC), seriously, took me a year to write. **

**/Facetake**


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